Staying Calm When The World Is On Fire

There’s a lot going on in the world today. It’s all so disheartening and scary. I would be surprised if you WEREN’T having a hard time staying happy. So today I just want to leave you with a few tips on how to stay calm during a crisis.

First things first, slllooooowwwwww dddooowwwwnnnnn. If you’re not in imminent danger don’t react immediately. Wait to react until you’ve collected as much information as possible. Ask yourself if what has riled up will matter a year from now. If it will, step back and mentally remove yourself from the situation. This will help you explore other perspectives. 

Keep breathing. When you’re under pressure it’s natural for your heart to race which makes your breathing shallow. If you don’t correct your breathing it’ll just perpetrate more anxiety. Take a few deep breaths. The increase of oxygen to your brain will also help you think more clearly.

Stay positive. I get that this is extremely difficult when you’re under stressful situations but it’s almost a necessity. When you dwell in negativity every what if out come feels hopeless; too daunting. It easily discourages you from action.

Take care of your body by making your personal health a priority. Exercise lowers stress hormones and helps your body function efficiently. By improving your health you also increase your self-control and emotional intelligence.

Disconnect and unplug for a day. Pull away from the situation at hand even if it’s just for an hour or two. This will give you the time you need to really process what’s going on. You’ll be able to come back with a fresh perspective.

Develop a healthy coping strategy. Find a ritual you enjoy in a place you consider safe and peaceful. Resorting to unhealthy vices often compound the problem in a lot of different ways. A few examples of some healthy ones include meditating, exercising, creating art or even cleaning the house.

Mental Health Awareness Month

In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month we’re going to close it out by talking about Bipolar Disorder, something one our hosts (Bunny) suffers from.

Bipolar Disorder, or manic depression, is widely known for its extreme mood swings and affects 2.5% of the population. In entertainment media you’ll see portrayed highs that look like total chaos or lows that look like staying in bed for weeks at a time. Realistically though those are the two opposite ends of the spectrum. Most people with bipolar disorder fall somewhere in the center of the spectrum. 

There are also different types of Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar I is characterized by having at least one manic or hypomanic episode preceded or followed by a major depressive episode. Bipolar II does not include any manic episodes. Rapid Cycling Bipolar is characterized by having four or more episodes of mania or depression within a one year time span.

According to the DSM-5 (the diagnostic manual for mental health professionals), to be diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder you have to exhibit three or more of the following symptoms and they must be significantly different from the patients usual behavior:

  1. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
  2. Decreased need for sleep
  3. Increased talkativeness
  4. Racing thoughts
  5. Distracted easily 
  6. Increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation

They must also experience five or more of the following symptoms in two weeks:

  1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day
  2. Loss of interest
  3. Significant weight loss or decrease or increase in appetite
  4. Engaging in purposeless movements, such as pacing the room
  5. Fatigue or loss of energy
  6. Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  7. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness
  8. Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt

Even with the extremes in moods and different episodes, people with any type of Bipolar Disorder often don’t recognize how much their emotional instability disrupts their lives affects the people around them and this causes issues in getting treatment. Plus, some people with the disorder enjoy and look forward to the euphoria and hyper-productivity that mania brings and therefore are noncompliant with treatment plans. Unfortunately though, the upside is followed by a severe emotional crash.

Causes and risk factors include having a parent or a sibling with the disorder, periods of high stress and drug and alcohol abuse. So if you have Bipolar Disorder what are some things you can do to manage it ?

First things first, if you’re feeling too overwhelmed or even suicidal you can immediately text ‘HELP’ to 741741 to speak with a crisis counselor.

Secondly, educate yourself. Bipolar Disorder is great at deceiving the person with it. Keeping the signs and symptoms present in mind help you to be more aware of when you’re showing them. That way you can train yourself to notice when you’re going through or about to dive into an episode and reach out for extra help.

It can also help to track your symptoms. Keeping track of your mood, thinking and behaviors surrounding different times in your life gives you a greater chance of stabilizing your mood. It does this by helping you figure out what sorts of things trigger an episode. If you notice major changes in your log you’ll want to share the log with your mental health professional.

Lastly, establish a routine that includes a crisis plan. The single most efficient coping skill for preventing mania and depression is keeping a consistent routine. Include your medication, meditation, consistent full nights of sleep, exercise and eating clean. All five of these factors work together to stabilize your dopamine levels and other hormones that contribute to how you feel. However, there will still be times when even the best routine and set of coping skills don’t prevent an episode. Keep handy a written plan with a list of people you can contact when you’re feeling impulsive or low as well as a list of your current medications and allergies just in case.

If you don’t have this disorder but someone in your life does, learn everything you can about Bipolar. The more accurate information you have, the more you can keep things in perspective. Try to be understanding, your loved one genuinely often cannot see that they have been acting any different until after the episode is over. Also, always encourage them to get help. The sooner bipolar disorder is treated, the better the prognosis.

Mass Incarceration

The United States holds only 5% of the global population but holds a quarter of the entire worlds population of prisoners. You don’t have to be a genius or a math whiz to know that 5% and 25% seems a little fucking disproportionate. In the past 40 years our number of incarcerated individuals has septupled ! That means it has increased by 700%. Again, no genius, but that looks extremely what-the-fuckish.

And oh..it gets worse. Out of every 3 beautiful black boys statistics say we can expect one of them to go to prison at least once in their lifetime. That’s contrasted to only one out of 6 Latinos and one out of 17 white boys. Another overwhelming statistics: Women are the fastest growing incarcerated population and they’re also disproportionately stuck. 60% of the women in jails haven’t even been convicted of a crime yet and are awaiting trial ! As a matter of fact there are twice as many people sitting in local jails waiting for trial AND PRESUMED INNOCENT than in our entire federal prison system.

What went wrong ?? That’s what we all want to know. What happened ? What exactly led us, as a country to this point ? One prominent theory blames the War on Drugs (WOD). The WOD is a phrase referring to a federal initiative aimed at stopping illegal drug use, distribution and trade by drastically lengthening prison sentences for both the user and the dealer. Let’s stroll down History lane together to get a better picture of WOD and how it’s led to our current state of mass incarceration.

Back in the 1890s the old Sears catalogue deadass offered a syringe/cocaine combo for $1.50 (that’s equal to $42.55 today, about half a gram). In 1890 also the first sexy taxes were places on morphine and opium. In 1909 the government, through the Smoking Opium Exclusion Act, banned the possession and the importation of opium if it would be used for smoking. Using it as ‘medicine’ was totally cool though. This was the countries first federal law banning any type of non-medical use of a substance.

Fast forward to five years after that. Congress passed the Harrison Act which taxed every step of the opiate and cocaine trade. Then in 1919, as we well know, alcohol prohibition came. That lasted until 1933 but to be honest niggas wasn’t really havin’ it in the meantime. Okay so now it’s 1937 and the “Marijuana Tax Act” gets passed. This upped the tag on cannabis, hemp and marijuana alike. If you didn’t pay said tax you were subjected to up to a $2,000 fine and five years in prison.

So then everything was relatively chill for a little minute when Nixon’s headass came along signed the Controlled Substances Act into law in 1970. This put all drugs on a 5 tiered schedule based off its potential for abuse and medical application. Schedule 1 drugs are considered the most dangerous for example because they have a super high risk for addiction but little medicinal benefit. This would include heroin, MDMA and lsd. 

June of 1971, when my mom was just negative four months old, Richard Nixon officially declared the War on Drugs and referred to drug abuse as public enemy number one. Word on the street is that the rise in recreational drug use in the 60s is what led Nixon to focus on certain drugs over others. He created the DEA in ’73 which had 1470 special agents and over $75 million. Today it’s up to almost 5000 agents and $2 billion. 

In one 1994 interview Nixon’s domestic policy chief mentioned that Nixon’s true motivation for WOD was that he hated black people and “the antiwar left”. The chief said “we knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course, we did.”

OH… OKAY.

Between ’73 and ’77 for whatever reason the war relaxed and 11 states even decriminalized  marijuana possession. Then again with the headassery, Reagan comes into office and reignites everything, going ten times harder. In ’84 is when his ol’ lady introduced the Just Say No campaign. The face that Reagan made penalties even more severe led to a massive increase in nonviolence drug crime incarcerations. 2 years later Congress passed yet another Act; this time defining minimum prison sentences for certain drug offenses. And once again it had hella racist undertones. For example, “it allocated longer prison sentences for offenses involving the same amount of crack cocaine (used more often by black Americans) as powder cocaine (used more often by white Americans). Five grams of crack triggered an automatic five-year sentence, while it took 500 grams of powder cocaine to merit the same sentence.”

Also to no surprise to us at least, people of color were stereotyped as probably being guilty more often than whites which led to a huge increase: in 1980 there were 50K nonviolent drug offenses and in 1997 there were 400K. Since then there has been a horrible trickle down affect. People are being charged crazy time. Someone sentences in 1980 is still in jail TODAY. There have been so many crimes since then with no revolving door so to speak. They end up piled on top of each other instead. 

Then there is the other half that is the revolving door. Once incarcerated whether truly guilty or not or once you’ve been held in jail pretrial, whether it was a misunderstanding or not, your life deteriorates. Your reputation is tainted, your employment is often halted which prevents you from paying bills which causes loss of basic needs. If convicted your rights are gone making it harder for you to assimilate back into society. Not only that but the experience leaves behind so many psychological scars, including PTSD often times. So what happens is these people fall back into or newly into a life of crime and/or vices and eventually get entered back into the system and so it goes and goes and goes.

So we’ve identified the huge problem right ? Naturally the next step is to work towards fixing it. I live here in Ohio and like my state, your state probably or hopefully has different initiatives going on to rectify the issue. Here the PreTrial Justice Institute and Montgomery Count Jail Coalition are working together and gathering people from the community to work on policy change. The first thing they’re trying to do is stop Montgomery County from building a newer, bigger county jail.

Our county jail just like others in the country are overfilled and contain innocent people and those who have only committed nonviolent crimes. We don’t want them to build a bigger jail to house even more people, that will soon just be overcrowded. We want them to stop locking people up for dumb shit ! Stop letting innocent people sit in a holding cell. We want to educate people. So many people are stuck in jail simply because they don’t know bail is only $100. Building a bigger jail just seems like a slippery slope, it’s going backwards.

What’s your opinion on the topic ? Do you have any experience navigating the system ? We wanna hear from you ! Write in and tell us about it.

One Pie Can Change The World

When I was 14 we lived in Dayton, Ohio. Harrison Township to be specific. After passing the eight grade my parents gave me two options for high school: DECA or CJ. Which one did I want to go to ? Neither. I wanted to go to Meadowdale with my friends and my brother but it just wasn’t in the cards for me. So since CJ, Chaminade Julienne, was a catholic school it was easy for me to settle on DECA or the Dayton Early College Academy.

DECA was was located on the third floor of a University of Dayton building and was considered an experimental school. There were 121 students total and no grades such as freshman, sophomore etc. You were expected to pass 6 gateways instead anywhere between 1 and 5 years. Academically, I loved it. By the end of my first year there I had already completed 3 gateways and was on track to graduate in just two years…

When my parents moved us to Huber Heights. The two cities are only maybe 20 minutes a part but they can feel like a world away. Huber Heights in 2005 was still “one of the nicer parts of Dayton” whatever the fuck that really means and was predominantly white. I remember my first day there I could hardly even tell the students apart. I went from a school of 117 (4 students left that year) to a school of 2500 like, man what ?!

Fast forward now to my 16th birthday. Sophomore year as a student at Wayne High School. I landed my first job at Burger King and had finally made a few new friends. That’s where I met Miriam. I had (still have) trash eyesight (wild because I ate hella carrots) and we hadn’t initially spoken I found out later because she misunderstood my squints of desperation for mean mugs. 

One day I was…borrowing… a butterfinger pie and Miriam was in my normal hiding spot, where I eat real quick on the clock. Instead of putting the much coveted pie back, I offered her a bite and we’ve been best friends ever since.

Dating Ugly

So if you’ve been wild bored and scavenging the interwebs for any form of entertainment I’m sure you’ve come across tweets and posts about dating. Especially on Twitter you’ll find hella solutions on what to do if you’ve been accidentally dating all the wrong people. One of the most popular solutions ? Date someone fat or date someone ugly.

Now it’s a whole helluva lot wrong with the fact that that’s what people think you should do after you’ve been ran through but we’ll save that conversation for another moon. Let’s just talk about dating ugly people for a hot minute.

Fun fact: By the numbers more attractive men actually do cheat 38% more often than their unattractive counterparts. When I learned that I was kinda like…. Oh….okay. That’s actually really good to know. The crazy thing is though, that when you date someone you don’t initially find physically attractive, their personality can literally make them more like Johnny Depp or Michael B. Jordan or Kehlani (I tried to be inclusive but I’m over the names now).

Check out this one woman’s experience. “Fairytales and Dove commercials have told us again and again that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but what does that actually mean?

From my experience, someone’s inner beauty is his or her essence. It’s how they carry themselves in the world. It’s their warmth, their generosity, and — most importantly — how they make you feel when you’re around them. When I was 15, a hobbit-like guy named John pursued me hardcore at summer camp. Initially, I was put off by his appearance. But as I got to know him more, I began to genuinely like him. He was kind. He had a great sense of humor. And suddenly there it was: I was helplessly attracted to him.

The less conventionally attractive a guy is, the more likely he is to develop other areas and aspects of his personality because he can’t rely solely on his #blessed looks. That’s why the average-looking dude at the bar is probably more intelligent, self-confident, and funny than the hunk sitting beside him. Looks fade, but the essence of who a person is stays intact.”

Sooooo, have you dated someone “ugly” or just someone that wasn’t your type because you were tired of the same old thing ? Let us know your experience ! 

Social Justice

Social justice is defined as “justice in terms of the distribution of wealth, opportunities, and privileges within a society.” Even more detailed is Investopedia’s economic definition of social justice. Here’s some of what they say about it: Social justice is a political and philosophical theory which asserts that there are dimensions to the concept of justice beyond those embodied in the principles of civil or criminal law, economic supply and demand, or traditional moral frameworks. Social justice tends to focus more on just relations between groups within society as opposed to the justice of individual conduct or justice for individuals.

“Historically and in theory, the idea of social justice is that all people should have equal access to wealth, health, well-being, justice, privileges, and opportunity regardless of their legal, political, economic, or other circumstances. In modern practice, social justice revolves around favoring or punishing different groups of the population, regardless of any given individual’s choices or actions, based on value judgements regarding historical events, current conditions, and group relations. In economic terms, this often means redistribution of wealth, income, and economic opportunities from groups whom social justice advocates consider to be oppressors to those whom they consider to be the oppressed. Social justice is often associated with identity politics, socialism, and revolutionary communism.”

“Efforts to promote social justice usually target various demographics, either to further their interests in order to counteract perceived oppression or to punish them for perceived past offenses. Broadly, demographic characteristics often the target of social justice attention include: race, ethnicity, and nationality; gender and sexual orientation; age; religious affiliation; and disability. Different types of social justice initiatives may exist to promote equality or redistribute power and status between groups in the areas of wealth, health, well-being, justice, privileges, and economic status. In economic terms, social justice most often amounts to efforts to redistribute wealth, income, or economic opportunities from privileged groups toward underprivileged ones.”

“Proponents of social justice can seek to achieve their goals through a wide range of peaceful or non-peaceful means, including various government programs, social campaigns, public activism, violent revolution, or even terrorism. At the government level, social justice initiatives can be pursued through various different types of programs. These can include direct redistribution of wealth and income; protected legal status in employment, government subsidies, and other areas for underprivileged groups; or legalized discrimination against privileged groups up to and including expropriation, collective punishment, and purges.”

So we have some questions for YOU ! What’s social justice mean to you ? What social justice efforts are you aware of ? Have you ever been involved in any social justice initiative ?

Stereotypes

Aight so boom. Today we’re going to talk about stereotypes. At one point psychology believed that only bigoted people play into different stereotypical beliefs but now the study of unconscious bias has them realizing that tbh we ALL use stereotypes. And we do it like all the time and usually aren’t aware of it. 

Okay so what is a stereotype exactly and wtf is unconscious bias right ? A stereotype is according to Google Dictionary, “a widely help but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing”. Now usually when we make these statements we mention that we’re just speaking ‘in general’. So what’s the difference between the two ? Generalizations are helpful and stereotypes are hurtful. 

When we’re making a generalization we’re attempting to look at seemingly random things or people and group them together by their similarities. The focus is on being descriptive instead of being judgmental. Stereotypes lock people into categories so it’s very limiting and not too much descriptive.

So what’s unconscious bias ? It’s actually described wildly well on the Virgin website. It says “They are learned stereotypes that are automatic, unintentional, deeply engrained within out beliefs, universal, and have the ability to affect our behaviour. For example, if you’re stuck in a car park with a flat tyre, chances are you’d be most likely to approach a man, rather than a woman, if you needed assistance in changing it.” This seems like it’s pretty innocent. You might think like, “well I mean, more men know how to change tires than woman,” but do you know this to be a fact ? Have you researched this and came to a solid conclusion ? Usually not. Many of these things aren’t inherently true or they’re only true because of the widely held belief. It may be that women really don’t know how to change tires as often but the only reason they refrain from learning is because they’ve been led to believe that it’s a mans job.

There’s several different types of unconscious bias’. Affinity bias where we warm up to people that’re most like us. For example, when you walk into a sea of strangers alone, you’ll probably gravitate to other Indian people if you’re Indian or other women if you’re a woman or other children if you’re a child. There’s the halo effect where you start thinking everything about a particular person is good just because you like them. Perception bias, where you fall into stereotypes so hard that you cannot think objectively about people. Confirmation bias where you only consume information that agrees with your pre-existing assumptions. Lastly, there’s group think. Think of the book 1984. Groupthink is when you try too hard to fit in and mimic others instead of forming or acting on your own thoughts and opinions resulting in a total loss of identity. Scary.

The best ways to overcome stereotypes and unconscious bias are awareness and exposure. You have to be aware of the way you think about people. What stereotypes do you notice come up in your mind when you’re around a ton of people ? Pay attention to your thoughts. Get out and talk to people who are different from you. Knowledge is power. Knowing firsthand what other people think and say and how they behave gives you the power needed to overcome stereotypes.

What Is Time ?

With social media and a little Justin Timberlake we have all hear statements and seen memes eluding to the fact that time is not real. Time is an illusion. There is no such thing as the the past or the future. What does all this even mean though ?

Doing research for this topic, I find that basically nobody has a real answer 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌🏽 We’re really just floating through space and have no clue why. But there was a lot of information and people speaking about how time feels. A lot about the signs of time. If time is just an illusion then why is there visible signs of aging ? Why do we notice subtle changes in the environment ? Why do we have clocks and calendars ? Of course these questions can largely be answered but how sure are we of the validity of the answers ?

If time is real and as rigid as many of us believe (using the term ‘many’ loosely) then why doesn’t every one all over the world follow the same concept of time ?

One concept of time is linear. This is the concept of time Americans fall under and it is e x p e n s i v e.  We truly believe that time is money here in general and so just like we feel as if we can never have enough money, we feel like we can never have enough time either. We’re a profit oriented society and so time is a commodity and it’s scarce. So linear means we follow time as past then present then future. We navigate between these three often. Switzerland, Germany and other Anglo-Saxon societies follow this concept too. People who follow the linear concept are also considered monochromatic which means they concentrate on a fixed schedule and usually have one thing at a time.

Most Southern Europeans follow multi-active time. This means the more things they can cram into any given time, the happier and better off they feel. This is like extreme multitasking. They don’t typically follow schedules or care about being punctual. Cultures like Spaniards, Italians and Arabs completely ignore the passing of time and would much rather finish the conversation of whatever it is they’re doing before departing off to do anything else.

In Eastern cultures there’s cyclical time. They pay attention to the sun setting and rising and the seasons changing. They also acknowledge the process of aging but that’s it ! The cycle will go on and as it always had so to them time is infinite and that’s all you need to know. There’s no such thing really as being late or on time because time flows abundantly in these cultures. This can make it extremely difficult for asians and Americans to do business together although we see that they definitely make it work somehow. But Americans shouldn’t expect Asians to come to decisions quickly. We may feel like they’re completely wasting time but that’s not how they perceive so it so treating it as such would come off as rude and unprofessional. 

How do you personally feel about time ? Let us know in the comments !

Angry Black Women

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders in the United States. As a matter of fact, both of us (Miriam and I) suffer from it in various degrees. Studies have shown that for Black Women in particular anxiety is more pervasive. Episodes of it last longer and tend to be more intense than that of non-Black women. 

So there’s statistics and then there’s perception. Many Black Women with anxiety are views as things other than that. In fact, research and history have pinpointed three different categories or images that we’re lumped into: the Strong Black Woman (SBW), the Angry Black Woman (ABW) and the Vixen/Jezebel. As we know, representation matters. Seeing predominantly these three representations does nothing but perpetuate the images further.

When you think of SBW a lot of people will picture their mother or grandmother who is known for resilience. It doesn’t appear derogatory off bat but it promotes the wrong picture. See, the belief is that she never needs help from anyone no matter what. That’s both inefficient and unrealistic. So when she inevitably does need help, then what is she supposed to do ?

The ABW is what I’ve personally seen and heard of most (Alexa, play Mad by Solange Knowles please!). The perception of this version of us is that we are weak and always ready to pop off at the mouth or at even more extremes no matter how minor the infraction. If that’s how you view us, image how you’d approach us. Automatically on the defense, which has ripple effects that in the end DO make us angry.

Then there’s the Vixen. One of the most infamous being Supahead (which at the ripe age of 28 I don’t know why my parents let me read her book at 13). This is the most objectified and sexualized version of us. It’s one of the reasons we’re so fetishized by other races.

Most women that do actually fall into these stereotypes suffer from some type of anxiety. Anxiety can make you afraid to speak up and ask for help, so you don’t. People mistake that as you being strong. With severe anxiety comes agitation and anger for sure. You’re always on edge. Some use their sexuality to soothe the discomfort of anxiety and as an escape.

Attacks on Black women such as sexual assault are 3.5x more likely than that of any other demographic. We are also much less likely to report the assault. Instead we suffer in silence and try to drown out the trauma. The thing is though, the problems won’t fix themselves. You have to work on it or it comes out and manifests in these ways.

So the goal should be on HEALING black women. How can we remove mental health stigma and the feelings of defeat in order to help Black Women heal and grow ? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

What Makes A Good Friend

As adults I see over and over again people complaining or otherwise stating how they don’t have any friends. I also see the question “how do I make friends ??”, or some variation of it on a regular basis. So today, with the help of Wonderopolis we’re just going to break down what makes a good friend. Why ? Because the better friend you are, the better friend you will attract and keep.

Let’s start with us each (me and you, the humans reading this) taking a mental note of how many friends we have. No need to think super, extra deep. Just yank a loose number out of your noggin. Maybe you have more friends than you realize. Maybe less. Maybe you’re starting to wonder if you should separate ‘friends’ from ‘best friends’ or ‘associates’. Honestly, endless questions can come of this.

Now from your initial friends list. Think about how many of them you would consider ‘good’ friends. Now the word ‘good’ is extremely subjective so just go ahead and use your discernment. With this some questions may arise such as, “are good good friends and best friends the same?”, or “does this include close friends?” Just think about quality friends. Not people you sort of just hit up when you’re bored.

Now start thinking about the qualities these people possess and how much you like being around them. You will probably notice things like how present said people are in your life. People you consider good friends are there when you really crave substance. Good friends console you while you grieve, they offer to provide for you while you’re incredibly ill and they’re next to you celebrating when amazing things happen in your life.

Good friends are usually excellent listeners and they take time to notice details about you and your life. Good friends are considerate of your time and your feelings. Good friends usually aren’t ‘yes men’ because they truly want the best for you. Good friends are LOYAL. Being loyal means they accept you for exactly who you are. The good, the bad and the ugly all in one and they don’t treat you drastically different during each phase.

When a good friend tells you what you need to hear, whether you want to or not, they do so with love and tact. You will be able to tell that their goal is to reach your heart and not to attack your spirit with their words. These are all things that will help you feel comfortable trusting them. You can trust them with your life, your secrets, your belongings. Anything. Without trust. You have nothing. Mutual trust is literally the only safe and stable foundation available for long-lasting, healthy friendships.

How many of these qualities do you possess ? Which ones are more important to you ? Let’s talk about it !